At a Crossroads

Darcy3.jpgMy friend Rebecca and I went to visit Mary, who loves cats as much as I do. This is Mary with Darcy. I fell in love with Darcy and almost kidnapped him. But Mary was onto me and kept an eye on Darcy, so no go with the kidnapping.

I am at a crossroads in my life. This feeling has been building. Last month when I put together the list of what I would do with the next ten years of my life, it felt empty. Nothing on it was what I really needed to do. I have to change my life, I’ve decided.

This might be the real midlife crisis (I thought I went through one at 40). I’ve been talking to all my friends. I think most of them get it. I’ve done most of the things I wanted to do with my life. And I’ve maneuvered my life so that most of what I do is exactly what I want to do. That should feel great, and it doesn’t feel bad, but it does feel kinda pointless.

Rebecca, a successful architect, just quit her job and went back to school to become a neo-natal nurse.

So, I think I have to change my life, too. Except for the writing part. That part feels JUST fine, thank you, and I will do that as long as I possibly can.

It’s the Weekend

hotcats2.jpgAnd it’s not too hot! The window in front of me is open, there’s a real breeze. That’s Buddy and Finney laying about under my chair at my desk. God, they’re cute. What’s up for this weekend:

– Brunch with some friends.
– Practice Annapolis speech.
– Work on Duke book.
– Gym at some point.
– Movie at some point. That reminds me, see Little Miss Sunshine. GO. Trust me.
– Figure out new career. I seem to be going through a second mid-life crisis and feel the need to re-vamp my life. I’ll talk about this in another post, but I’m open to suggestions.

Too Freaking Hot

Missing Photo! A photograph was here! Don’t know where it went!

Finnair.jpg It’s so hot I can’t sit at my desk, even though the air conditioner hasn’t been turned off in three days. That’s my desk, with the curtains drawn, also for three days straight. The only place that’s bearable is on the couch, in front of the air conditioner. It’s insane.

I’m so glad I got past my reluctance to change and upgrade things. I’m sitting comfortably on my couch with my Powerbook, on a wireless network, with my digital camera, which took the picture of my desk, which I uploaded in seconds to my blog (can’t upgrade the blog software, alas, but that’s a $$$ issue) and I’ve got my HDTV running the non-stop, hell-in-a-handbasket news, oh! It’s one of the PC guy and MAC guy commercials! I love these. AND! I just got email from my British editor congratulating me on my publication day (for the UK paperback)!

Life is good. For a moment here and there. Fuck. IT’S A TRICK. Isn’t it? The universe is messing with me.

Update, 3:25PM. Finney joins me on the couch. Rumsfield is on CNN, so I have to turn the channel. Ugh. Jennifer Lopez on another channel, can’t stand her. Oh good, Rumsfield’s gone. Back on CNN. Hello little Finney. Thank you for joining me on the couch.

Who were they?

This is Gaither Pratt and Hubert Pearce. Gaither was a scientist, and pretty much the second-in-command at the Duke Parapsychology Laboratory. Hubert Pearce was the best ESP subject they ever found. Look at them. They are 22 and 27 in this photo. So serious. They’re just starting out in their lives. Both wanted to become ministers at one point. Gaither changed his mind, but Hubert did go on to become a Methodist minister in Arkansas.

And both are now dead. I can never meet them. But I’ve been writing about what they were like for the past month or so. It’s insane when you think about it. I’ve been searching through various archives to find film footage of them, but so far I haven’t turned anything up. But I am in touch with their children, who have been helping. I was just emailing with Gaither’s daughter Ellen last night. And I have talked to a bunch of people who knew them. But still. It’s weird. Luckily, there are a lot of records, tons of letters. I can immerse myself in the correspondence and get a feel for what they were like, and their relationships with other people.

I rescheduled my library visit yesterday. It was just too hot. It would have made an enjoyable thing not fun. I want to go when I can enjoy myself. But this weather is getting to me. I’m doing another fun thing tonight, I’m being interviewed on a BBC show about the cold case book, but right now I’m dreading getting on the subway and going uptown. I’m going to get there early to give myself a chance to cool down before the interview.

Who doesn’t love a fort?

catfort.jpg The second a fort is provided, a cat jumps in to occupy it.

So today I’m going up to the American Society for Psychical Research to use their library. Normally this would be a nice thing, going up to a library (I love libraries) and then taking a nice long walk home. But New York and other places are about to be burned off the face of the earth and I don’t want to go out there! Oh God, the subway. What fresh hell will that be like??

Well, who knows what wonderful surprises I will find in the library so I will concentrate on that.

I’m going to leave the air conditioner on for the cats, even though they’re begging us to conserve. I don’t have the heart to turn it off in this kind of heat, though. I don’t want them to suffer.