Month: June 2017

Holy shit. These guys are outside my window right now taking pictures of the front of the building. Someone asked them what they were doing and they said, “Yes, this is kinda awkward, it’s for a project,” but gave no details. I’m barely dressed and I just immediately closed the curtains. Damnit. I want the sun and the breeze.

Hello? Go away please!

Yay! They’re shooting a little further down now. I can pull back the curtains again.

In the five years I’ve had Bleecker I have never seen this side of him.

While I’m at work I put the kittens in the bedroom, to limit the trouble they can get into, and to keep Bleecker away from them until I know for sure they all get along all the time.

Finney first got sick in 2013, and I started a health diary for him, to track the symptoms. The first few and the last few entries.

2013

8/1: Started meds, PM.
8/2: Threw up, PM, diarrhea gone.
8/4: Threw up, time unknown.
8/5: Threw up, but might be Bleecker, my other cat.
8/10: Diarrhea, one day only.
8/18: Threw up.
8/26: Threw up. I gave him his slippery elm and pumpkin later than usual and he threw that up minutes later. Some diarrhea, but really, really firm stools the previous night!
9/3: Went on rabbit wet food, PM.
9/4: Threw up. But again I gave him his slippery elm and pumpkin later than usual and he threw that up minutes later.
9/7: Threw up, furball, but still. Not good.

2016

10/17: Taking Finney for a ct scan. Both Finney and Bleeck threw up this morning.

Finney was diagonsed with fibrosarcoma, and he had surgery October 20, 2016.

11/3: I met with the vet and decided not to do chemotherapy. They said his chances are recovery are 50/50. He threw up early this morning.
12/21: Finney has been so good with no problems, but today he is going to the litterbox to pee like he has a urinary tract infection or is blocked. Except I wiped him down and there was some litter stuck there and he seems fine now. I wonder if he was being blocked by a piece of litter that is now clear? I will keep an eye on him.
2/25: Finney threw up. I think it was Finney, on 2/17.

I stopped tracking his symptoms because there was no longer any point. I knew what he had. The tumor eventually returned, and there was nothing left to do but to keep him as comfortable as possible. He lived for eight months following surgery and I’m grateful for those months.

Finney on the old tv, a former favorite resting spot. I am so sad I can’t bear it. I feel like an insane person. Seriously. I can’t believe I will never ever curl up with Finney again.

I started not feeling well yesterday, and I decided to call in sick today. At the same time, Finney, who has been crashing, has hit bottom. So today is the day I’ll be saying goodbye.

I’ve been here so many times, and described it so many times, I don’t have the heart to talk about it again. If you’ve gone through this you know. I left a message for Dr. Wendy McCulloch to come here and do it at home. I’d planned to call her to arrange for her to come on Thursday after work. (I took him to the vet last night and got him a shot of pain killers that last three days. We were going to have three final days.) But if she can’t get here on such short notice I will bring him to the vet. It’s not what I want for Finney, but it really has to be today.

The only thing I can think of to do for him is to let him eat all the frozen yogurt that he wants. I always used to give him a tiny bite or two of these frozen yogurt pops I like. When the tumor came back I start giving him lots of bites. Today I’ll just put a whole one down on a plate for him.

I got a few shots of Finney checking out one of the kittens. Which kitten, as per usual, I do not know. As you can see, his hair never grew back after the surgery. A tumor returned in the exact same spot, and I’m guessing that’s why his hair didn’t return.