If I Were Joe, I’d Be Dead Now

My friend Joe sent me this, after I told him my spider and roach stories. Joe, for the love of God, MOVE. Seriously, I would never get another good night’s rest if a spider like that showed up in my apartment. I’d be like my cats, who once saw a mouse run under the stove years ago and have been checking under the stove ever since, hoping for its return. Every night I’d wait in fear of the return of the spider.

[Video removed because the link no longer works.]

A Feel Good Movie for Emmy Day

How can you not love Matt Harding?? I ask you. My favorites are the walruses (is that what they are?) on the Shetland Islands, and whenever people dance with him, like the kids in Rwanda and San Francisco. Scariest one: Norway. Be careful, Matt!

[Video removed because the link no longer works.]

Spiders or Flying Roaches?

Harvestman,_probably_Phalangium_opilio,I_GNU2.jpgThe other night, a daddy long legs woke me up as he crawled over me. I jumped up, but I didn’t have the heart to kill him. I just watched him as he walked away. I hate hate hate spiders, even ones as benign as daddy long legs.

But I think I hate flying roaches more. I was going to put up a picture of one but I hate them so much I couldn’t even deal with a picture of one on my blog. People who have never seen them flying don’t believe they exist, but I found the description below. Note the part that says they look identical to other cockroaches. That is the most diabolical thing about them. They look like regular, big old waterbug type cockroaches, but when you get up to get rid of them they fly off the wall and RIGHT INTO YOUR FACE.

“Asian cockroaches are almost identical to German cockroaches in appearance. (Except, as I said, if you walk toward them they FLY INTO YOUR FACE.)

Asian Roach Behavior
“At dusk, the Asian roach becomes very active and adults are attracted to light reflected off light-colored walls, doorways and windows. This roach is capable of sustained fly for a distance of 150 feet. They then actively try to enter the home where they rest on lighted walls. When light are turned off (as residents of the home leave a room,) the cockroaches will follow to the next lighted room. Thus, many residents believe that these roaches are attacking them — but they are not.”

Right. So, I’m trying to decide, which are worse? Spiders or flying roaches?

Tiny War of the Worlds

wotw.jpg I bought a stand for my isight camera — I need it for a new blog I’m planning called Buried in New York. Doesn’t the isight mounted like that look a little bit like a tiny War of the Worlds?

The new blog is going to be about stuff that I’ve written about in my books, things that are buried and forgotten somewhere. But I also want to interview people, either about forgotten things, or because the people themselves have been forgotten.

For instance, I was watching this grade B, scifi movie from my childhood, Monolith Monsters (very satisfying, it took me back and I actually enjoyed it) and I wondered whatever happened to the little girl who almost turned to stone in the movie.

Wait.

People might not like the idea of being interviewed for a blog named Buried in New York. I have to think about this.

Free Spit Balls

Whenever I walk to the gym I pass a woman on the corner of 6th and 14th calling out, “Free spit balls!” I always knew she couldn’t really be saying what I thought she was saying, but I was afraid to make eye contact because what if she is saying what I think she’s saying?? I don’t think it would be a good idea to make eye contact with a woman offering free spit balls.

I finally glanced in her direction and figured out what she is saying by the store she was standing in front of. She is saying, “Free Sprint phones.”