Stacy Horn

I had to get the previous rant out of my system.

Meanwhile, the city is looking very pretty right now. Blossoms everywhere.

I realize a lot of the points I’m about to make have been made by now. And this is not a blanket condemnation of Catholics, Catholicism, or organized religion. This is about admitting you’ve made a mistake, correcting it and making amends to those you’ve hurt.

When I was researching my book about the NYPD’s Cold Case Squad, I was interviewing a chief and I glanced down at his desk and there was a picture of a recently captured pedophile. VERY UPSETTING PART COMING UP: In the picture, you see a grown man about to stick his dick into a little boy who is crying and terrified.

I almost threw up when I saw that picture and I have never recovered. If that man had suddenly appeared in front of me and I had a gun in my hand I would have shot him. This picture, I mean the size of this guy, and his dick, and this tiny little boy, I’m shaking just typing about it. His erection was like a third of the size of the child, it was horrifying.

The idea that there are people who learned that something like this had happened and then didn’t do everything in their power to make sure this never happened again, blows my mind. It is inconceivable to me actually. Inconceivable. I will never ever get that for as long as I live. You should have seen the picture I saw. To let someone like that anywhere near children again, how could they?? Why didn’t they turn the priests over to the police? And why aren’t they being charged with aiding and abetting now, for not turning them over to the police? Why haven’t police gotten search warrants to look at the records? It must be a statute of limitations thing. I’ve posted on my Restless Sleep blog about how I feel the statute of limitations for sex crimes against children.

I also just don’t get how they could fail to go to the children, the victims, and then spend the rest of their lives doing everything they could to help them heal.

So when I read things like this I become enraged:

“VATICAN CITY (Reuters) — Pope Benedict, facing one of the gravest crises of his pontificate as a sexual abuse scandal sweeps the Church, indicated on Sunday that his faith would give him the courage not to be intimidated by critics.” In another piece he was quoted as saying “From God comes the courage not to be intimidated by petty gossip.”

I couldn’t believe I was reading this. You are not the victim here, Pope Benedict. And “petty”? Petty?? You’re calling these matters petty?

And you see yourself as courageous? Really? This is what courage looks like? And then I read this:

“A senior Vatican priest speaking at a Good Friday service compared the uproar over sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic Church — which have included reports about Pope Benedict XVI’s oversight role in two cases — to the persecution of the Jews, sharply raising the volume in the Vatican’s counterattack.”

My head exploded after that one. Even the church decided it might be best to distance themselves from those comments. I will say again, I am blaming individuals, and aspects of the system which protected the guilty and must be corrected, and not all Catholics (my family is Catholic) or Catholicism.

The proper response to this crisis is not whining but full cooperation. Period. You hurt everything that is good about religion and the many good people in service to it by this response. Your behavior is criminal. And I’m not speaking metaphorically. Full cooperation and paying for your sins, that is what courage looks like.

You decide. I say angelic pigeon.

Which reminds me, I loved the most recent Supernatural episode. Castiel’s struggle is breaking my heart, although that bit about what the translation really was, was funny. Oh and his voice mail thing. “I don’t know why you’re asking me to say my name.” Thank you, writers. And actors.

Anyway, I’m exhausted. I will post in the morning. I need to curl up on the couch an watch tv now. I had a long pope post, but I put it aside for later.

I just can’t get over that I’m going to get to write this book about singing with the choir. The more people I talk to the more ideas I get. And of course the people I talk to have great ideas. The subject is so rich and deep.

John Maclay, the choir director, asked me and another person to take pictures for the Choral Society website. Thank God the other person looked like she knew what she was doing because mine didn’t come out well at all. But she had a better camera, with a serious, professional flash, so I’m sure she got some great shots.

That said, my own imperfect shots make me happy.

I have a publisher for my book about the choir!!! I’m going to get to write this book!! I have been beyond belief happy and dying to talk about it. Here’s the announcement from Publisher’s Weekly:

Unbelievable and The Restless Sleep author Stacy Horn’s THE SOPRANOS: Facing the Music at Middle Age, or How Singing in the Choir Saved my Soul, chronicling 25 years of singing in the Grace Church Choir and braids the life of a single fifty-something with the rich history at the church, the petty rivalries and romances among the choristers, and the challenge of learning and singing new music, about the particular joy of singing and raising your voice as one, to Jane Rosenman at Algonquin, by Betsy Lerner at Dunow, Carlson & Lerner Literary Agency (NA).

Actually, I don’t plan to go into anything petty (but romance, yes). It’s going to be about choir life, the music, and these wonderful stories I’ve found about the history of the pieces we sing, and the composers, and the musical history of Grace Church, and this whole weekly ensemble of joy that I get to participate in.

But I’ve been dying to write a book that combines the kind of thing I did in Waiting for My Cats to Die with the research skills I learned doing The Restless Sleep and Unbelievable. This is going to be a book of heart, but you’ll also come away with a deeper understanding of music (hopefully) and this whole marvel of singing with other people. (And why you should be doing it, even if you don’t have the greatest voice in the world. I don’t!)

So thank you Jane and Algonquin and I can’t wait to write this book!!