Month: July 2006

Jackie, me and Brett. Chris says I should name the restaurants and what I had. I no longer remember the name of where we ate yesterday. It’s a Japanese restaurant in the Hotel Gansevoort. They didn’t have a vegetarian entree so I had miso soup, and … the Japanese equivalent of shish kabob with vegetables instead of meat. If it wasn’t for dessert I would have cried, but dessert and the company made up for the lack of food choices.

We were talking on Echo about the fact that when you’re single it doesn’t really pay to cook. It ends up being as expensive and sometimes more than doing take out. Which kinda sucks, but I also feel like it takes me off the hook for cooking. And there are so many great take-out choices here.

I’m happy because the M. Night Shyamalan movie opened, and I do love his movies. Have I mentioned that everytime Signs is on I have to watch it? I’ve seen that movie 16 thousand kabillion times. I don’t even believe in the message of the film — in fact I get furious during one scene. IN FACT, I would like to get this off my chest.

Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix (who I love) are sitting on the couch. They play brothers. Aliens have landed, and it could be bad, they don’t know yet how it’s going to turn out, but Joaquin is scared and he’s looking for comfort from his brother, who used to be a priest.

Mel says there are two types of people in the world–always a bad sign, when someone can’t see the grey areas–those who believe everything happens for a reason, could be good, could be bad, but they will be taken care of no matter what, because there are greater forces in the universe (like God). Then there are those that think everything is an accident, could be good, could be bad, but in the end they are all alone and that fills them with terror.

I fit into neither category. I don’t believe in God, but I think things happen usually because of a reason, it’s just that the reason has nothing to do with God. It has to do with us. Things unfold because of our actions. Could be good, could be bad, who knows, we’re not that smart or organized. I hope for the best. (I also believe there are accidents, things that happen that have nothing to do with us, but effect us. Like if a meteor hits us, or hurricanes, unless it’s a result of something we did to screw up the climate). BUT in any case the idea that we are alone and God isn’t directing everything doesn’t fill with terror. Instead, it fills my life with meaning. Because it means that the world is what we make it, not what God makes it, and everything I do is important. It’s up to us. We’re all we’ve got.

Like the character Angel says, “the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.” (And the smallest evil is the worst.)

Though, I will admit the “death is the end” thing which I believe, kinda sucks. So, I hope that ends up not being true.

I think I figured out why I find Signs enormously comforting. Everything works out well in the end. People who believe in God think it’s because God set it up that way and that fills them with comfort.

I think it’s because in spite of the fact that we’re idiots and frequently fuck up, things can still work out okay, and that fills me with comfort, too.

It’s good to know that people like the guy who made this film exist in the world. Stay for the credits, which were sweet.

[Video removed because the link no longer works.]

I spoke to Mrs. Kremen, who was very nice about it, but even now, can’t bear to talk about it, so she didn’t want to talk to me. His birthday is this month, too. Oh, it was awful. There are some things you just don’t recover from. This poor woman. She blames herself, for moving the family to California. (She’s from Brooklyn.) She has another son, but she said her life was ruined from then on. She was 37 when it happened. So I apologized and got off the phone. She wasn’t mad, she just didn’t want to go into it. She did say that the psychics they consulted were a nightmare. Ugh. I felt terrible. I can’t believe the things some people have to endure. Life is not fair.

From time to time parents would write J. B. Rhine (the head of the Duke Parapsychology Laboratory) for help finding their missing children. This is 6-year-old Bruce Kremen who went missing in Pasadena, California on July 13, 1960. Look at that sweet face. His parents tried everything, for years. At first Rhine would say, I don’t have much faith in them, but sure, try using a psychic. I know how Rhine felt about psychics, but I got the sense that he just didn’t have the heart to remove a source of hope. But then he stopped. He would tell parents outright that psychics cannot help you and they will only take your money and raise false hope. Actually, he didn’t say psychics in general, he would refer to specifics ones who made a living contacting parents like the Kremens.

But I wonder about the Kremens family. What the rest of their lives were like. Did they have any more children? Did they break up (what frequently happens)? Bruce would be 52 today, so his parents would probably be in their 70’s. Oh my God. I just checked. The family is still listed in the phonebook at the exact same address where they lived in 1960. They are still there.

Do I dare call? This is what I went through with the cold case book. Should I call the family of the murder victim or not?? Do I open up old wounds? Actually, if I go by that, in every case they wanted to talk to me. The wounds had never closed and they were glad that their child, brother, father, etc., would not be forgotten. Still, I dread it. Okay, I’m calling. (But later, it’s 6AM there now.)

Oh no. I just checked the Social Security Death Index, in case that was an old listing, and the father died in 2004. He was 84. I’ll still try calling. Maybe the mother or someone else will be there.

They go straight to my blog. That’s my friend Ray in the middle. I met him volunteering down at ground zero. Ray’s a lieutenant up in Harlem. Look at them with their beers — they almost look like security beers.

Once again, I’m lazing about. I emailed four chapters to my agent, so the day immediately acquired that Miller-time feel and I’ve been unable to work. I’ve been doing things I’ve been putting off that don’t feel like work instead.

1. I set up online banking so I can pay my bills online. I’m, like, the last who writes out checks every month I think.

2. Made a hotel reservation for my family reunion next month.

3. Called my various phone companies to see how I can bring my monthly charges down. I think I can cancel service on one line and consolidate a little.

4. Read this topic on Echo about new cool things on the web to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. I am of course, but nothing critical, except maybe last.fm.

5. I’ve given up upgrading the software I use for this blog for now.