Month: September 2007

I am continually horrified by the amount of things I don’t know. I’m not talking about not being able to pass a basic physics test (something I couldn’t do) but things like “name ten presidents.” Again and again when they’re doing that thing they do on TV, where they ask a group of people some truly common knowledge type thing, something any child would know, invariably I don’t know the answer.

This happened last night while watching my recording of America’s Princess (a reality TV show where a bunch of girls compete to become a “princess”). They gave the girls a pop culture quiz and I couldn’t answer some of the questions. Yes, I do appreciate the irony here. Maybe I should stop watching shows like America’s Princess, but that isn’t going to happen. They are too much fun! Oh, and I’m probably using the word irony incorrectly.

I never know the answers on Jeopardy. Okay, I do know some of them, but not as many as I should. I do worse on the new show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. Really worse. Horrifyingly worse.

The thing is, I read a lot. If something is interesting to me I make an effort to learn about it, and as it happens, pretty much everything is interesting to me. I am always looking up something. Seriously, always. If I meet someone who knows about something I don’t, I ask them about it. When channel surfing I stop on Nova and shows like it as much as reality TV. I’ve been absorbing information like this for I’m not saying how many years. Not as much as some people I know, it’s true. I have friends who just go at it harder than I do, and are extremely knowledgeable about a vast array of subjects. But I should at least be able to get through Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader and I can’t.

The only explanation I can think of is, I retain little. Sadly. For instance, I remember a couple of years ago I realized it was important to understand how our economy is tied to China, and how we’ve been borrowing and are now in a vulnerable position. I read up on it, asked questions, argued with my brother Douglas about it at a backyard party (he works for Merrill Lynch, economics is his thing) and I came to understand it somewhat. Since then I have forgotten every single thing I picked up. Oh god, the stuff I don’t know or don’t remember about basic American history, world history, ugh.

Sigh. What are you going to do? I read this blog called 3 Quarks Daily. I don’t read every entry, I scroll through and read one here and there, but man. These people are not only members of the “go at it harder” club, but they are phenomenal retainers. Heavy sigh. Maybe I should just read the Times more thoroughly each day. Maybe keeping up with current events is the only recourse with my retension issues.

(The picture is of my friend Marianne, somewhere in Massachusetts, taking her dog Schlomo for a therapeutic swim. I find pictures of Marianne taking care of her dog incredibly touching.)

I’m backing up my computer before taking it to Apple to hear the bad news. As that cliche goes, I can buy a better computer for less money than it may cost me to fix this one. A new computer would cost $1,099. A new motherboard for this one $1,200.

This is me at the Brazilan festival on 46th Street yesterday. My arm is almost completely back to normal. I drummed for hours and I was fine. Walking home I had a thrilling moment (for a musician). Someone saw my tshirt and yelled out, “Manhattan Samba! You guys playing the festival?” We’re known! What can I say, it was a pleasure. Someone wanted to hear us.

Ugh. Can’t stop thinking about the computer. On the one hand, a new computer is always fun, but on the other hand, I can’t really afford the expense. I’m not wealthy, you know. Universe? I posted that for your benefit. In case you’re listening. Or reading, I guess.

Further evidence of my distress: I bought Smarties to eat for dessert. After breakfast.

I’ve been thrown into the past! I spilled orange juice on my laptop and now I’m on an old Mac, with an ancient version of Instant Messenger running in the background, hearing sounds I haven’t heard since I was in love with this guy and my heart would pound whenever I heard that door-opening sound effect it made every time he appeared.

I remember how terrified I was to switch from this operating system to my new computer and OS X, it was so completely different. But it was wonderfully, unendingly better. I don’t like being back here. I’ve just been saying on Echo how I want to pick a subject for my next book that puts me in a whole new world for a while. Living in Durham for a few months showed me that I would like that (although I did get terribly homesick, I love New York so much).

Change change change change change. Love it, hate it. That guy will never again come through that tiny IM door, even though my heart still pounds.

Maybe the problem isn’t change so much, it’s that we are not in charge of when or how it comes about.

What should I write about next? If I get the chance to write again? I’m saying that to appease the gods of change, knowing how they like to mess with me. The bastards.