by I am so out of sorts I gave Buddy his chemo medication on the wrong day. I gave it to him this morning thinking it was Wednesday. I’m pretty sure it won’t kill him, it’s the mildest of mild chemotherapies and very slow acting.
But the book is handed in and you’d think I’d be all “It’s Miller time!” but instead I’ve been bursting into tears about every little thing. My accountant emailed me a question, I cried. I can’t make up my mind about what I want to do at the moment, I cried. I don’t have any decent pictures to post … tears.
I went up to the roof, cried at the thought of someone locking the door behind me, not knowing someone was up there and then I’d be locked out on the roof in the cold.
So here are three views from my roof, practically live, haven been taken just moments ago. This is looking west, that’s the Hudson River in the distance, and New Jersey beyond that.
You’ve all seen this view from my roof before, but this is looking uptown, or north. My camera is tilting ever so slightly I see. Oh well. I guess I better cry.
A very pastel looking view of downtown.
Too depressed to lean over the edge of the roof and yell, “Help! Help! I’ve locked myself on the roof and I can’t get down!”?
Anyhoo, the end of anything is like a little death. Every time I’m in a show that ends, it’s a sad feeling. But I always take as much mental energy as I can muster and shove it into the thought of “THE NEXT THING!!!” And there is definitely going to be a “NEXT THING”, that will be even more exciting and challenging than the last thing. It may even be “The greatest thing you’ve ever done”.
I have days like that, too. A day when I should be thrilled that it is mine to do with as I please but in the end, I just can’t figure out WHAT to do, and do nothing, and feel like crap for having done nothing.
I WAS going to leave a comment about crying, about crying in public places (like the bus, on the way home from work, for no good reason but for all kinds of reasons) but I realized how pitiful I would sound so I won’t leave a comment about that. I once noticed a woman who had turned her face to the window on the bus & was wiping away tears & i stopped myself before saying to her “I do that, too. I hope you’re OK.” I don’t know how she would have taken it.
I hope tomorrow is better, Stacy. I’ll say it again: you are SO lucky to live where you live! Great pics!
Stacy-
Well, you’ve lived with your new book for a long time. It makes sense you’d be a little overwrought handing it off. Don’t fight the crying. Let it out and the next day you’ll be much better prepared to start something new. You’re too hard on yourself!
BTW, I cannot WAIT to read the new book. CONGRATS!
Congrats on finishing your book! I hope that didn’t make you cry.
Haha! Thank you for all the congratulations. I’m just starting to unwind. I’m glad I handed it in just before the Oscars. I’m really going to kick back and veg out on the couch with the Oscars.