The second bone graft failed so I’m not getting an implant after all, but a bridge. I don’t think getting a bridge is the end of the world, it’s just that I’ve had three surgeries now, over I forget how long, so all that pain and healing and time for nothing is a difficult pill to swallow.
Part of me is glad. I was nervous about the implant part. They had me sign this sheet saying that I understood all the possible risks associated with getting an implant and it was a very scary list. Also, after I’m done healing from this most recent bone graft—which feels like adding insult to injury, having to still endure healing and more waiting—we can wrap this baby up. I was concerned with being done and presentable by the time my book comes out and that should no longer be an issue.
But having an implant is the better option and I went through a lot in order to have one so I’m upset about how it all turned out. I’ll get over it fast of course. It’s not like I went through treatment for a life-threatening disease and that failed. Still. I feel like throwing a temper tantrum or buying myself a present. I think I’ll go for the present.
I liked the colors in this window. Also, that’s a John Lennon bio it seems. I wonder why it’s part of this display.