I was looking for an old photograph, and after glancing through decades of photographs of me and my friends I am now completely in the thick of that bittersweet, road not taken, look at how much time has passed, nostalgia-immersed mood.
The nice part is many of my favorites friends are still around and still my friends. I found a photograph of my friend Aly who had a band called The Leisure Units. I took it at either CBGB’s or some other club. Minutes later, Aly emailed me and my ex-husband (we’re still friends) about lunch on Wednesday.
This is my friend Chris, me and my friend Adrienne (and our dates) on my 16th birthday. I’m going to her graduation ceremony on June 2nd if she has decided on going. She was still iffy about it the last time we talked. She’s getting her Masters.
This is Peter. I adored him. He asked me to marry him and I said yes, but then I saw that there was little chance for happiness for us, too many problems I didn’t know how to solve, so I took it back. But I still loved him. It makes me sad to look at this picture. I wish I was smarter, or the two of us a little less fucked up. (I was going to post pictures of other guys I didn’t marry, but ran out of scanning steam.)
And this is my ex-husband Jeff, looking very tough.
All of this was prompted by my VERY BIG birthday coming up. I hope I am able to make peace with it.