Reasons for Living

suit3.jpg I think I posted about this before but I keep a journal where every day I write down three things I accomplished that day, no matter how small, ie, “fed the cats.” Then I write three things that made me happy, again, no matter how small, “had Half & Half in my coffee.” I think the point is that most joys and accomplishments are small, but nonetheless, every day has them. It sounds so lame, but it’s a habit now and I enjoy doing it. I started it on January 10, 2005 because I was so miserable I could barely breath, and I think I got this idea from Oprah, or someone told me about it who heard about it from an Oprah show. This morning I compared my January 10th posts for the past four years.


Wrote Gretchen about talk radio. She answered in a friendly way.
Took a walk. It wasn’t as big a deal as I thought.
Picked up certified letter. It was money.

The cats continued health, my rent stabilized apartment, Howard.

1/10/06 (I was in Durham, NC)

Connected with Det. Arostequi.
Emailed Joyce about coming into the Rhine Research Center.
Worked out at fitness place.

Pizza, the show Supernatural got good, walking on paths.


More work on the chapter.
Got caught up in email.
Picked up kitty litter and laundry.

Howard cheered me up after the party, I looked good in any case, that’s a confidence builder if nothing else is, curling up with TV after.


Emailed section to Brenda.
Emailed with Sally about loose ends.
Worked on final draft.

Clean house, pedicure, Grey’s Anatomy.

That must have been some awful party last year. I have no memory of it. The picture is of more clothes I cannot possess of course, more yellow clothes specifically. This store also had a really cute yellow belt in the window, but I can go to Loehman’s and see if they have something similar for $5.

Clothes I Cannot Possess 4

Coat2.jpg Ever since I bought a yellow shirt last year I realized yellow is my favorite color. The signs were all there, I painted the walls of my apartment yellow, I pick paintings with yellow in them, buy yellow coffee cups, etc. But when I put that shirt on I knew. (I also love various shades of green.) I saw this in a window the other day. Practically speaking, I don’t like coats that tie like that, they wrinkle whatever is underneath, but still. Pretty.

Gas situation update. I saved people lives yesterday!! (Exaggeration alert.) Here’s the story. After they turned the gas off to my apartment, I still smelled gas. I opened the windows, turned on fans, but something still continued to generate that smell. I called Con Ed, and they came back, but they said, “no gas.” I called the EPA, then I called the City who called 911 and soon my street filled with engines and sirens. It was very embarrassing, but turned out well because those cute fireman brought their own gas detector which started squawking when they turned it on and they said, “yeah, you got a leak.” They called Con Ed and said, “she does too still have a leak,” and Con Ed came back and said, “yeah, there’s still a leak, but since we turned you off it’s got to be elsewhere.” (Something I had been saying to them since they turned it off.)

So now everyone in the building is without gas. I had to leave signs up on every floor because apparently someone expressed anger about me to the Con Ed guy and he had to explain that it wasn’t my fault and not in my apartment anyway. I mean for the love of God. Not only is it not my fault, but in my mind we had a potentially dangerous situation which I rescued everyone from. That gas would have kept building and building and maybe BOOM. They should buy me that coat. (Kidding.) But seriously, what did they think?? The only reason I could smell it is because there’s a hole in my floor and it was pumping up into my apartment through this hole. The Con Ed guys said the pipes came up this side of the building and the other apartments they saw were better sealed.

Clothes I Cannot Possess 3

Rowley.jpg This is a Cynthia Rowley dress. I often love what she has in the window, even if I don’t think whatever is there will look good on me. This one is deceptively simple, but pretty perfect although I put it in the category of may-not-look-good-on-me. On the left hand side that green panel is pink. It’s fun, these two surprise panels, but also distracting. This dress almost works better as a work of art. I’m not sure if this shade of blue would work for me ultimately, but what does it matter? I cannot afford this dress.

I should be working, but I’m kinda goofing off. I went to the gym, and I’ve been leaving messages for people who probably won’t call me back. As long as I’m not working I should probably go outside and enjoy the summer in the middle of winter day.

Oh god. I have to say a lot more to get this post to format properly. I don’t want to just post filler. Maybe just a quick list of what else I’m supposed to do today:

– Call Dept. of Energy. (Trying to find out how much they spent on nuclear weapons research and development between 1978-1995).
– Call Bob Jahn. He’s a researcher from Princeton and I need a few more quotes from him.
– Schedule NPR interviews. (Working on a piece about audio forensics.)
– Check possible factual errors Sally Rhine Feather pointed out in the current draft.
– Call Wendell and Steve (cold case detectives I’m bugging for this that and the other thing).

Peeking Over the Couch, Looking at You

Cathead2.jpg That headline is like an LOL cat thing, isn’t it? Except I should spell “you” with a “U.”

Just got back from seeing Amahl and the Night Visitors with a friend from choir. It was lovely and sweet. I made a couple of movies which I will post tomorrow if they’re any good. They were giving away poinsettias afterwards, but I couldn’t take one because I’ve always heard they are poisonous to cats.

So? What’s up for 2008? Any predictions about this year? Oh, it’s an election year. That’s something. Our national nightmare will soon be over.

I never do resolutions, but maybe I will. Tomorrow. Plus, they will be fake. Maybe I will make resolutions for other people. I’ll email them and go “here, you have to do this. I have so resolved it.”

Okay, Which One of You Gave Me the Cold?

Trains.jpg This is what I get for leaving the house. I have a cold. And the gas is still turned off (leak not fixed) so I can’t cook. Although it’s more accurate to say I can’t “heat” since I don’t actually cook anything, just heat stuff up.

I took this picture of the train sign at Penn Station on Christmas morning. By the way, I love saying the town “Ronkonkoma.” Ron-KON-ko-ma.

Aside from the cold which one of you gave me, thank you very much, I’m feeling pretty good. Starting to get feedback from the parapsychologists on the book, and corrections are coming in, but nothing major. (They might call them major mistakes, but if I can fix them in a couple of seconds to me they’re not major. I’m thinking purely in terms of time.) And aside from the mistakes, they seem to like it. Love it, they say!

Cannot wait to send this draft to my publisher, but I have a few things left to do. Meanwhile, so not feeling well. I wish I had a bunch of good food in the house so I could just curl up on the couch. I guess I should order in, but unlike the rest of New York, I do not like to order in. I’m uncomfortable with having people hand deliver my food.