Author: Stacy Horn

My preparations for my BIG birthday coming up:

– Thorough Spring cleaning, including getting the windows washed. Done.

– Go through all my clothes and donate everything I no longer wear. Done. I love how pared down and ordered my closet is, with only the things I actually wear, or need to wear for certain occasions.

– Do all my yearly doctor appointments, check-ups, etc. Done.

– Schedule facial and pedicure and dentist appointment. Done.

– Take cats for check-up and dental work. Done. (They need to get spruced-up, too.)

– Do all the things you’ve been putting off. This includes upgrading the blog software I use to do this, in fact, all sorts of software upgrades, AND, making a decision about my air conditioner. I had a guy come in to take a look and tell me if I need to get a new one. The one I have is 10 years old, and don’t they make them better these days? He said I actually have a great unit, even if it is old, and he suggested I just clean it. So he took it with him to clean.

I LOVE having the air conditioner out of the window. Having the window all clear with nothing in it blocking the view makes the whole place seem lighter and more open. I wish I could live without the air conditioner. One thing — the guy said they can take it out and store it during the winter and I am definitely going to do that from now on.

For most of the year I’ll have this light open view. The next snowfall, I will have this view. (Ha! Check out Finney luxuriating in the down comforter.)

Within seconds of the air conditioner guy leaving, Finney was up inspecting the new view and a new windowsill to sit on.

And here are Aly, Jeff and me, friends for 30 years so far.

Incidentally! Someone didn’t believe my story below about all the guys having sex in the warehouse on the Hudson. These are the guys who were with me and I asked if they remembered it. Aly said “yes,” Jeff said, “vaguely.”

Today I am having lunch with Aly and Jeff. I posted their pictures a couple of days ago, from when they were in their 20’s (or 30, tops). I should mention that today, Jeff is the editor of Parabola Magazine and Aly has a book contract, and I forget the publisher. We’re all writers!

Many many many years ago, when I was a photographer, I took a picture of the head of the Zoroastrians for Parabola Magazine. I was very proud. Ohmygod. The cross! I’m pretty sure I cropped that out in what I gave them. I think. My then soon to be sister-in-law Carol Zaleski, who was a student in the Department of Comparative Religion at Harvard, was interviewing him.

Zoroastrianism is generally considered the oldest organized religion. The last I heard, anyway. It’s from Persia (Iran) and it was the first religion to lay out the battle between good and evil, although maybe I am remembering that from the Nietzsche book, “Thus Spake Zarathustra,” which I read in college because it made me feel like a smart person (Zarathustra is the name Zoroaster in another language).

I was looking for an old photograph, and after glancing through decades of photographs of me and my friends I am now completely in the thick of that bittersweet, road not taken, look at how much time has passed, nostalgia-immersed mood.

The nice part is many of my favorites friends are still around and still my friends. I found a photograph of my friend Aly who had a band called The Leisure Units. I took it at either CBGB’s or some other club. Minutes later, Aly emailed me and my ex-husband (we’re still friends) about lunch on Wednesday.

This is my friend Chris, me and my friend Adrienne (and our dates) on my 16th birthday. I’m going to her graduation ceremony on June 2nd if she has decided on going. She was still iffy about it the last time we talked. She’s getting her Masters.

This is Peter. I adored him. He asked me to marry him and I said yes, but then I saw that there was little chance for happiness for us, too many problems I didn’t know how to solve, so I took it back. But I still loved him. It makes me sad to look at this picture. I wish I was smarter, or the two of us a little less fucked up. (I was going to post pictures of other guys I didn’t marry, but ran out of scanning steam.)

And this is my ex-husband Jeff, looking very tough.

All of this was prompted by my VERY BIG birthday coming up. I hope I am able to make peace with it.

And I’m concentrating on the important things: my outfit. I have a hard time holding the camera steady. But I like the Stacy-ghost version:

But here’s a sharper shot. I was going to flaunt tradition and wear a sleeveless top, because it got warm and the top is cute, but I chickened out. We’re supposed to wear our least slut-like outfits, and apparently no sleeves = loose woman. Note the totally unsexy comfy shoes.

Wish me luck on the high notes!