It’s the End of the Road for Buddy

All the tests came back with the worst possible results all the way down the line. There’s nothing more to do but wait, and pick the right time. I’m so destroyed I don’t really know what to say right now. Everything in life gets easier to cope with over time except this, apparently.

I’m a wreck, but I’m trying not to be a wreck and be there for Buddy, to help him through the worst thing every creature alive must face. Why did he have to face it so soon? He’s only 12. Why do I never have cats who live to 18 or more?? Every time I look at him my heart breaks. Insane, I know.

Finney, thankfully, is oblivious. He just wants to end the life of some poor sweet pigeon.

Stacy Horn

I've written six non-fiction books, the most recent is Damnation Island: Poor, Sick, Mad, and Criminal in 19th-Century New York.

View all posts by Stacy Horn →

16 thoughts on “It’s the End of the Road for Buddy

  1. I am so sorry to hear that… my heart honestly goes out to you and your furrbabies… Big hugs to you all…

  2. I hope you can take comfort in knowing that you’ve done everything possible to make his life safe in a world that can be very hard on vulnerable animals. Good job.

    Sweet little Buddy.

  3. What can one say but our hearts go out to you both. Think of the good times and that you were able to give him the greatest life that a cat can have. One can only sympathize and try to understand the grief that you are going through. Try and hang in there and treasure your time together!

  4. Oh Stacy…dammit! This is not the news I think we’d all hoped to hear. You and Buddy have so valiantly skirted his various health problems for quite some time and given each other such special caring and loving times together through it all. Thinking so of you and your sweet little gray boy Buddy and sending my love.

  5. Stacy, I am so sorry. I feel your hurt and am a bit teary eyed as i write. I’ve gone through this twice before with my pets, its is never anything but just plain sad. I know I have told you this before but I just think you are one of the most couragous people i know, always putting your life “out there” the good and the bad. This is one of the many reasons I follow your blog. Thank you for this gift.

  6. So sorry to hear this sad news. Poor little Buddy. You’ve done your best for both Buddy & Finney. They’ve been lucky to have been with you for all these years. I’ll be thinking of you three.

  7. Stacy-
    All of the above comments cover all of the emotions I’m feeling for you and this stage in your life with Buddy since it’s hard to find any words of comfort when we’re in the “wreck” stage and wanting it to all go away and be good again. As Michael said “it is never anything but just plain sad” and I would add sucks big time to that as well. You have done absolutely everything possible to keep him with you and you with him, and comfortable, fed, warm, loved and healthy when his body allowed for it. I’m so sorry for you and that your heart has to be broken once again.

  8. poor Buddy. But I believe he will face it bravely like all other cats. Why am I adopting new kittens after sad goodbyes with my catty-people? Because they never mess up ewhen they go.
    Gather yourself up Stacy!

  9. Being a little older than you, I have lost several pets for various reasons. The last cat I lost was about 15 years ago. It’s mate had died about 9 months before that. It took me over a year before I allowed myself to be taken in by another cat, but now I have 4. And that first recovery cat is now 14 and starting to show his age. I worry about him often. Yes, it is very hard to lose a pet. But it is so wonderful to have years with them also. I’m sorry for the news, but always remember the years that you had together.

  10. Oh Stacy, my heart goes out to you.
    One of, what I think of as the wisest things she has ever said, is what Janet has said in the past about it’s mentally not so bad for our furry friends, because they don’t know what’s coming. And I think more than anything else, they know how very much we love them.
    And that is the most important thing.

  11. My thoughts are with you. It’s so sad to lose a dear kitty friend. You wrote so eloquently about the sadness in “Waiting for My Cats to Die.” I re-read certain sections after my 4-year-old cat died unexpectedly last Christmas Eve. I cried and cried…and I’m starting to cry now. Think of happier times with Buddy and give him lots of hugs. Finney will miss him too.

  12. So sorry to hear this news.
    There is so much joy in having pets. But then there is this part of it, which as you said is heartbreaking.
    Thinking of you.

  13. Hi Stacy,
    this is heart-breaking news about Buddy. Buddy has had a life supported and surrounded by your care and attention and love. Had you not been there as Buddy’s companion, who knows what kind of life he would have led?

    You may remember me writing about a beloved cat that we had. Because of feline AIDS, we had to go the vet option. You know, I’m a fairly tough guy, I’m a VietNam veteran, and I was bawling like a baby. My wife left the room because she was hoping that her emotions of grief would not be received telepathically by the cat.

    As I told you, a short time later the spirit of our cat came back and hung around for a while. The spirit finally climbed up on my left shoulder where he used to spend some time, and we meditated together and went off into the cosmos.

    My wife is sometimes a bit fey, and she had a communication with our cat, and the cat did not know that he had changed in any way. Apparently, the body was sort of incidental to the way he identified himself. They sleep so much, they are out of the body as much as they are in it.

    Buddy will still be around somewhere. You might keep an eye peeled, because he may follow you home from the vet.

    If you wanted to, you might call for a time for all of your posters to send out good thoughts for Buddy’s continued happiness. If you like, you can visualize Buddy surrounded by glowing light, happy and radiant. We could all tune in for group support and good wishes as Buddy moves onto the next phase.

    You know, I have a very expert familiarity with a lot of literature from Spiritualism and other esoteric subjects. People constantly report being re-united with their pets after they leave the physical vehicle.

    You have a lot of people who care about you and have suffered the same type of loss, and we are thinking about you as well.

  14. I can’t thank you enough for every single word posted here. I’m just so devastated, and the best part is knowing that some people understand just how bad this is.

    I’ve been trying to comfort myself with what Buddy’s life may have been like, although I think the main credit goes to KittyKind, the organization who rescued him. He was in a hoarding situation with a homeless person, who was camped out with a bunch of cats in an abandoned beauty parlor. So he would have died a lot sooner, and in pain, because obviously this person would not have been able to provide all the care I have been able to give him.

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