Goodbye Buddy

I’m in agony. I don’t know how to occupy this apartment, or my life. There’s a horrible Buddy-vacuum and it’s so painful being in it. I’m going to wait a few months, and then make a tribute movie to Buddy. I don’t think it would be a good idea to start working on it right away.

For now, the picture below is of Buddy resting after one of his favorite past times, eating books. Also, here are links to a movie of him beginning to destroy a book, and another, causing general desk destruction.

I sang to him this morning, before the vet came. The cats actually never really seemed to like my singing so I picked a small section from Randall Thompson’s The Peaceable Kingdom, and I sang it very quietly. But the words say exactly what I want to be true. It’s from the bible (but adapted by Thompson).

For ye shall go out with joy, joy, joy,
and be led forth with peace:
the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing,
and all the trees of the fields shall clap their hands.

That’s what I used to tell him (and Finney), that all the world and the universe celebrate and rejoice in their existence. Goodbye my little Buddy. I will love you forever.

Stacy Horn

I've written six non-fiction books, the most recent is Damnation Island: Poor, Sick, Mad, and Criminal in 19th-Century New York.

View all posts by Stacy Horn →

27 thoughts on “Goodbye Buddy

  1. There are never any words big enough to offer comfort. But just want you to know I am thinking of you and my heart is re-breaking just a little with the memory of what you are going through.

  2. So sorry to hear about Buddy. I’ve only had to go through that experience once (nine years ago) and I still miss Mr. Max. If it’s any comfort- that’s when I discovered you- through your ‘waiting for my cats to die…” book which i found strangely comforting during that time.

    p.s. i love that picture of buddy.

  3. Buddy is now cavorting with our little herd of much loved furry friends, eternally and blissfully chasing butterflies and chewing on whatever they please:-)

  4. Oh Stacy – this is just so hard. We’re all there, with you – loving Buddy. You’ve been a good companion to Buddy, and you stayed with him, every step.

  5. Stacy,
    I’m so sorry. I know how much you love Buddy — Such a sweetheart.
    Thinking of you
    Yours,
    Luce

  6. Such a beautiful photo of a much-loved cat. Thanks for letting us get to know Buddy. May he rest in peace.

  7. So sorry to hear this news, it’s the hardest decision to make. I too discovered you through ‘Waiting for my cats to die’. I’ll be thinking of you in the days to come.R.I.P. dear Buddy.

  8. Stacy, thank you for all the sharing you do, esp in the hardest of times. Know that we all have been there and feel your grief. Yes, I believe you are right when you say Buddy will always be a part of you. I’m just glad you have connected with folks you understand that.

  9. Thinking so of you this evening Stacy. Buddy will always be in your heart and a part of you, as Michael said above. Your blog has given so many of us an opportunity to connect with the trials and travails and joys of an author whom we’ve come to care about beyond the books you’ve written. In this time of such sadness for you, know that it’s being shared by many.

  10. Just a sad, sad day for you with many more to come missing his sweet face so much. It simply drains you doesn’t it?

    I remember something that my sister quoted to my Dad after my mother died and it seems quite fitting here for you. The presence of that absence is everywhere ~Edna St. Vincent Millay.

  11. Buddy – such a sweet handsome guy, patient pill-taker, avid book eater, accomplished desk destroyer and loving companion. He had a great life with you.

  12. A piece of all our hearts are missing. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and allowing many people to know you, beautiful Buddy and charming Finney. My life has been so enriched from the cats in my life, as I know yours has. Animals are truly a gift. My thoughts are with you and Finney.

  13. Quiet Paws

    I don’t know
    Where cats go
    But they must go softly
    And ease into a quiet sphere
    Warmly silent, near

    His sleepy eyes
    Ghost the skies
    Dreaming now more lofty
    Wrapped in sweetness of your love
    Behind or just – above

  14. So sorry for your loss. Even though I have never had a pet, I can understand the depth of your feelings.

  15. I am sorry for your loss Stacy. I greatly admire your capacity for love of your wonderful cats and the way in which you can write about your feelings for them, through all circumstances. I also hooked onto you (and your blog) after having read “waiting for my cats to die” which was a selection in my monthly Memoir Reading Club in Dec 2010. Know that you have many cyber friends sending comforting thoughts and warm hugs. I certainly am from the west coast of Canada!

  16. It’s nice to know some people don’t think I’m over-the-top in my love for my cats.

    Cara, I am SO sorry about Miss Mouse. Yeah, this summer SUCKS.

  17. Very sorry to hear this. You write so lovingly & so evocatively about your cats that I can’t help but feel I know them somehow. I’ve had to wade those waters before, as well, & it never gets easier. Best wishes & take care from a reader in Colorado.

  18. My heart is breaking for you. I, too, live alone and my cat and dog are my family. I have been afraid to open your site, because I knew Buddy was not doing well. I have grown to love him too, through your stories and pictures of him. I can’t explain how much I love my silly cat. If she stops eating I do too. I have felt your worry and pain with Buddy. (From another over-the-top cat lover)

  19. I keep meaning to say, I really appreciate all the people who have noted that they got to know and care about Buddy. It helps that he had, well, fans. So thank you Molly, Vicki, Debra, dma, mosprott, Sharon, Lisa, Mavis, Barbara, and everyone else I might have missed

    I keep feeling bad when I don’t address everyone directly, so I wanted to note everyone:

    But thank you Nadine, Sandra, Marianne, Heather, Luce, Rick, Michael, Justine, fellow-mourner Karen, Betsy for the great quote, Sharyn thank you so much for the “patient pill-taker, avid book eater, accomplished desk destroyer” description, it gave me MUCH pleasure, Dan for the sweet poem, Carol, Dave, Meister that article was great and really helped, and again, to anyone else I might have missed, THANK YOU.

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