I’m Going To Go Curl Up in a Corner Now

February 22nd, 2013 Posted in Uncategorized

Oh, for the love of god. I just read my cousin Bill’s annual family newsletter and I feel completely paralyzed by my comparative lack of achievement. You wouldn’t believe this family, they are amazing. I would tell you what they are all up to, but I don’t know how they would feel about that. I can tell you that Bill runs a lab of 15 scientists doing cancer research at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and has won all sorts of prestigious awards, that’s no secret. But the I-Might-As-Well-Give-Up-Now point is: his teenage children are more fabulous and accomplished than I am and they are just getting started. Jesus. Soon they will be our overlords. Seriously, Bill and his wife Carolyn have done such a mind-blowing job raising them. They must be punished.

My 2012 newsletter, the Cliff Notes version: I have two cats. Together we watched 7,500 hours of tv. We would have done better, but we lost a week due to Hurricane Sandy.

Here is Bleeck, trying to convince me he’s perfectly comfortable like that.

Oh no. What is he looking at? There’s a tarantula behind me, isn’t there?

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  1. 6 Responses to “I’m Going To Go Curl Up in a Corner Now”

  2. By nadine on Feb 22, 2013

    We get a similar Christmas letter from a perfect family. It always make me laugh a little, like a Saturday Night Live sketch. Every year we say we are going to compose a letter of failures to send back… Nadine was rejected from three up and coming galleries, two of David’s students failed to complete the requirements of their PhD program, Jimmy the dog had a five month long bout of diarrhea. Happy Holidays!

  3. By Kim bookseller on Feb 22, 2013

    I’m happy and a dedicated underachiever. Accomplishments can be overrated, everyone dies in the end.

  4. By Mavis on Feb 22, 2013

    Thankfully I’ve never been subjected to these sorts of letters from my three younger brothers who’ve achieved so much more in their lives than their sister, at least in some aspects. I’ve had “freedom”, and while it’s not always brought rewards in any traditional sense, my life’s been my own.

    Loved that picture of Bleeck staring at “something”…my cat Dona was totally focussed the other night on another “something” under my dishwasher and I’m sure it was a spider, too. I’ve never seen a tarantula in person (thankfully), but my two cats are great little bug hunters and aren’t afraid of spiders as I am.

  5. By Stacy Horn on Feb 23, 2013

    I couldn’t live in a place where seeing a tarantula is even a possibility. I’d always be worried about it happening.

    Nadine, ha!

    Kim, yeah. Alas.

  6. By Citizen Reader on Feb 26, 2013

    Meant to reply to this ages ago–you do realize the rest of us would be intimidated by YOUR holiday letter (if you sent one)? Loving parent to gorgeous kitties, fabulous nonfiction author, singer, paying the rent in Manhattan? Not too shabby!

    RE: Nadine, I’d LOVE to get a Christmas letter like that, although I hope the doggy is feeling better. It’d be a lot more honest.

  7. By Stacy Horn on Feb 27, 2013

    It’s so funny to hear you say that, although yes, the books thing is the best part of my life. WAIT. Sorry cats! I meant YOU both are the best thing in my life.

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