Funny Dental Implant Story

A few years ago my previous dentist wrote me a prescription for five diazepam pills (aka valium). Whenever I had a particularly bad dental procedure I’d take one. I’ve been hoarding the last remaining quarter of a pill for a really rainy-dental-day and I brought it with me on Thursday, (teeth-pulling day) hoping I wouldn’t need it. But at one point I just broke down.

My student dentist has to explain everything’s he’s doing to his professor, so when the professor came back he said, “The patient took a valium.” The professor laughed and said, “Yeah, well that should just start to kick in by the time we’re done.”

I didn’t want the professor to think I was a valium addict so I said, “For the record, I’m not an addict and I don’t take valium at any other time.” And he said, “Well, for the record, we are. In fact,” he continued, looking around the room to the student dentist, the nurse, and the other professor who would be overseeing my student prostho-dentist later, “I think we’re all on it right now, aren’t we?” It was great.

In front of St. Paul’s Chapel on 9/11/11.

St. Paul's Chapel on September 11, 2011

Stacy Horn

I've written six non-fiction books, the most recent is Damnation Island: Poor, Sick, Mad, and Criminal in 19th-Century New York.

View all posts by Stacy Horn →

3 thoughts on “Funny Dental Implant Story

  1. Ha! Always nicer to be in the hands of a health care professional with a sense of humor.
    Good on you for just quietly saving your valium for when you needed it. Once, ONCE, I was given two lorazepam pills for a stressful medical test (I took one and it didn’t do anything, by the way, boo!) and now every time I go to the doctor they ask, “are you still on lorazepam?” They never know anything else about me but that seems to keep popping up in the old computer. Computerized health records, wow, I’m so impressed. 🙂

  2. CR, ha! That’s exactly what I wanted to avoid!

    Karen, lucky cats! Yeah, some of my friends swear by xanax.

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