Thank God I Rarely See a Cockroach

Because apparently cockroaches have feelings, and they get lonely. I think I’ve mentioned how if I find a bug or a spider in the apartment I’ll coax it onto a piece of paper and escort it out into the hall or out the window. I can’t bear to kill anything. The exceptions are those giant flying cockroach things, which terrify me.

I don’t know why, but I start crying the minute I see them. If they fly right at me, which they seem to love to do, I feel this awful, primal, fear and dread. It’s all I can do to not to start screaming. Whenever they show up, regardless of the hour, I have to get one of the neighbors to kill them for me. Once, I got Howard to come all the way crosstown to kill one for me.

Last year I went around the apartment and found various ways they might be getting in and I plugged up all those holes and haven’t seen one since. Thank God. Because after reading that article I’d feel bad now. They’re nice. Their favorite thing is to talk about food! How can I kill them now, knowing that they sit behind the walls in groups, chatting about food??

Note to Nadine: Thank you for the review on Amazon for Waiting For My Cats to Die!

A music stand sitting out on the street. I wanted to take it home to paint and use, but what if belonged to a homeless street musician or something?

Stacy Horn

I've written six non-fiction books, the most recent is Damnation Island: Poor, Sick, Mad, and Criminal in 19th-Century New York.

View all posts by Stacy Horn →

2 thoughts on “Thank God I Rarely See a Cockroach

  1. I thought only Florida had flying cockroaches? Dear Lord, is nowhere safe? I’m with you on the cockroach thing. I too am a bug relocator, and despite my fears, I have even trapped a cockroach or two (under a big glass) and thrown it out the front door. Heart pounding the whole time. What do we think is going to happen? The panic attack is worse than the bug.
    Thanks for sharing the article. Interesting stuff.

    PS You’re welcome 🙂

  2. Exactly, what do we think is going to happen?? Let’s say the bug manages to get on us. So?? What’s the big deal?? It’s insane.

    And yeah, those flying cockroaches have migrated. It’s someone from Florida’s fault.

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